Improve Self Care
Self-care encompasses many aspects of life.
Here are a few suggestions:
Mindfulness and Meditation:
Learning more about these practices and putting them to use will help to relieve stress and improve relationships.
There are many useful apps. I would suggest “Calm, Headspace” and “UCLA Mindful“.
These practices or habits can help quiet anxiety and worries about the future.
Sleep
From research we know that 7 to 8 hours of good quality sleep a night is optimal. Yet many people have great difficulty either finding time, having trouble falling asleep or waking early.
Good bedtime practices includes giving yourself time to unwind at the end of the day, putting screens away an hour or so before bedtime and sleeping in a cool, dark room on a good mattress and without distractions.
Self-talk or what you are saying to yourself about yourself
Brene Brown writes and speaks about shame and guilt:
- Guilt arises when you believe they have done something wrong
- Shame arises when you believe that you are a bad person.
Such thoughts often enter our thinking at an early age coming from parents, relatives or teachers. Beliefs can stay with us for a lifetime if left unchallenged leading to rumination and depression. The rise of social media has allowed us to compare ourselves with others often leading to feelings of inferiority.
Learn to speak about yourself in more positive terms
If you find this difficult, ask people you like and respect for their feelings about you,
Try the exercise of saying “I am…” and then thinking of a positive description that describes you.
Monitor screen time
It is hard to believe that the iPhone is almost 17 years old now (updated: March 2024), heralding the “smartphone era”.
Because of their amazing capabilities and applications, many of us (not matter our age) find our smartphone is in
almost constant use.
Studies show that even the presence of a phone on the dinner table, for example, is a distraction. In my practice, many people tell me that they are feeling disconnected because they are not getting attention from their partners. Sitting in the same room, checking Facebook, Instagram, TikTok or surfing the web, they live in two separate worlds.
A friend of mine’s granddaughter said to her “talk to me with your whole face”.
Texting frequently leads to misunderstandings. Excellent for making arrangements or checking in, but not so
good for conversation and having a discussion or argument. Expecting instant responses causes problems too.
Emphasize the positive
One of the strongest findings in Dr. John Gottman’s forty years of research into what makes a lasting and happy relationship is the importance go a positive attitude. when couples’ interaction is high in criticism and contempt and low on praise, compliments and admiration they can enter what he terms as negative sentiment override. This is a state of affairs when even positive behaviors are discounted and viewed with suspicion.
Take care of physical health
Physical and mental health are closely related. See your doctor for an annual physical. Women make sure to have regular mammograms.
Pay attention to diet and exercise
Add fun to your life
Some of my clients tell me that they are lonely. Perhaps they have retired and moved away from family and friends. Learn about what is going on in your area. Check out the “Meetup” website to find groups of people with similar interests. Many colleges have alumni societies.
Make plans with your partner and/or friends to be a tourist in your own area, A day trip or staycation can be a great way to recharge the senses. Or plan a bigger adventure.
One couple I work with have started a vacation fund and are having fun making plans.
Learn something new
Here in Sarasota ACE has a myriad of classes where you can try a new hobby or sport. A class can be a great place to make friends.
Listen to some podcasts or Ted talks.
Websites I recommend for further information
If and when you are ready…
If you want guidance to make changes in your life arising from stress and anxiety and/or its close relative, depression, I invite you to call me today to set up an appointment held on Zoom by either phoning me at (941) 306 1235 or emailing me at [email protected].
I offer a complimentary 15 minute by phone if you have questions you would like answered before beginning counseling.